Forget Me Not
by summertina4
Summary: After Barry changes the timeline he see's that thing aren't as he left them. Caitlyn has powers, iris and joe are fighting and he has an ex. (Julian/Barry)
1. Chapter 1

He doesn't remember. He doesn't remember us, what we were. He doesn't know who I am.

I run my fingers through my hair, frustrated with this whole situation. Barry's an idiot for changing timeline. He knew thing would be different and yet, he still did it.

Barry enters the lab, late again with two coffee's in his hand. He hands one to me and goes to sit at his work area. There's a thick awkward silence between us. After a few minutes he looks up from the stack of papers on his desk. "Julian." he calls. I hesitantly look up at him. His eyes are bloodshot. he must not being getting enough sleep.

"I'm sorry." he says. I roll my eyes. This is the third time he's apologized. "I told you Barry it's fine."

"No, it's not. " His response surprises me. He doesn't usually reply.

Barry stands from is place at his desk. "What I did Julian wasn't ok. I changed a lot of peoples lives. I killed Cisco's brother, I made Joe and Iris hate each other, I gave Caitlyn powers. And you... I ruined our relationship."

"You can't ruin something that didn't exist."

"But it did exist. To you it did. And I ruined it. Just because I wanted save my family."

"It's not your fault. If I were you, I would have made the same choice." He shook his head. "I'm an idiot."

"Yes, you are."

He looks up at me. those green eyes that I love so much,, are filled with sadness and sorrow. "I'm sorry."

"Me too." I grab my bag and walk out of the room. I can hear him let out a sob. My eyes close and force myself to not cry to.

No, I will not cry. If he wants me, then he'll come for me. I'm not chasing him anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

It's a week before he tries to talk to me again. But I avoid him. Which is hard considering we work together.

He taps me on the shoulder. I sighed and give up. "What Mr. Allen?" he sits in the chair beside me. He opens his mouth to say something, but I put my finger up to stop him. "Don't say you're sorry." he closes his mouth and looks down at the ground. "Can we please talk?" I sit up straight in my chair. "Fine, let's talk."

He opens his mouth again. "No, barry. I meant _I_ talk you listen." He nodded.

"I hate you so much." I say. He didn't look surprised. "I fell in love with Bartholomew "Barry" Allen. He was crazy, insane, and a little clueless. And the flash. We worked on cases together and laughed a little. We were friends. Boyfriends. And then one day things weren't the same. You showed up and I instantly knew that the barry I fell in love with was gone. To you our relationship didn't exist. But to me, I had my heart broken, by someone I don't even know." I could feel the heaviness in my chest. "You don't know me Barry. You don't know how bad you've broken me."

A tear slips out of my eye, but I quickly wipe it away. "Julian-" The rest of his sentence becomes a jumble of mumbling as I run out of the room. I don't hear the footsteps running after me. I don't see the flash of lightning or feel the whip of air around me. I don't feel anything.

I sink to the wet ground, bringing my knees to my chest. He caresses my hair as I cry into his chest.

I shouldn't have let him see me cry. He doesn't deserve the satisfaction of my pain. He doesn't know me and I don't know him.


	3. Chapter 3

I don't know why I let him take me to his apartment. I don't know why I don't push him away. I don't know why I let him hold me. He's not the barry I love. He's not the barry I know. He doesn't feel anything for me. But I feel everything for him.

I'm in his bed we're facing away from each other, his arms are wrapped around me, holding me tightly. I want to cry but I can't let him see me weak.

His hand trails up my arm and stops on my shoulder. I shiver.

"Are you ok?" his voice is soft like cotton. I nod.

He wants to say something else. But I can feel his hesitation. "Say it." I prompt him.

"I'm really sorry."

"I know." I Say quietly. "I know that you're sorry barry, but that won't change anything."

His hand finds mind under the covers. He's warm. "I want to tell you so much, but I have no idea where to start."

"Start anywhere."

He sighs and stutters while trying to gather his words. "I know that I don't have any memory of our relationship. But in these past few weeks that I've known you, I know that what we had was real. And I feel something for you. Something that I don't want to hide anymore."

I don't have to look at him to know that he has tears in his eyes. I can hear it in his voice. "Barry." I say. "You can't possibly feel something for someone you barely know." I whisper.

"I do know you Julian. I know that you hate bitter coffee. I know that you're not a morning person. You hide your feelings by putting other people down. You try to keep yourself locked away, but you really want someone to notice you. I know that we were in love once and I know that we can have that again."

My eyes are watering. I want to break down and hide in his embrace, but I can't.

He's right, he does know me.

I turn to face him. His cheeks are wet, and his eyes are red. "I know you to, barry allen. You're a _liar_. So don't tell me you feel something for me, when I _know_ you don't."

He doesn't say anything after that. I let go of his hand and push the covers off of my body. I leave his room and walk down the hall to cisco's room. His light still on so I know he's awake. I knock on the door quietly.

His hair is tousled and he's wearing a black batman shirt and robin hood pants, his attire almost makes me laugh.

"Hey Julian." he says. I smile. "Can i sleep with you?"

"At least take me out to dinner first." I laugh at his joke. He smiles and put an arm around my shoulder, taking me inside the room. "Sure." he closes the door and leads me over to his bed. We both get in. "Things with barry, still on the fritz?" he asks. I nod. "You know how barry is, he won't give up."

I sigh. "I know." he pats me on the shoulder and turns off the light. "Good night."

"Night." I whisper. He's breathing slows and he starts storing. After a few moments, I finally decide to let myself go and cry. Cisco's right, barry won't stop and I don't know how much more I can take.


	4. Chapter 4

Cisco's alarm wakes me up the next morning. It's 9:00 and the smell of bacon and eggs, intrigues my nostrils. Cisco squirms next to me, groaning. He reaches for his phone and turns off the alarm.

"Barry's making breakfast." he says. "I'll bring you some." He stands from the bed and walks out to the kitchen. I can hear their brief conversation as barry asks where i am. Cisco answers with 'he went home, an hour ago. Now can I please butter my own toast?' his response makes me laugh.

A few minutes later, he brings me breakfast and a glass of orange juice. "You probably don't want to go to work, so you can stay here if you want." I thank him and finish off the food. He leaves the keys to his car on the bedside table for me, in case i need to leave.

I take a quick shower and borrow some of cisco's clothes.

The day goes by pretty quickly. Cisco updates me on things that are happening with caitlyn. By the time 3:00 comes around, I feel hungry. I leave cisco's room and go to the kitchen.

I grab a bottle of water and a banana. I start to head back to the room when i feel a pair of eyes staring at me.

Hesitantly i look in the direction. Barry's sitting on the couch surrounded by papers. He looks at me confused. "Julian."

I force a smile. "Hi, barry." He stands from his spot on the couch. "Cisco told me you left." I shrug. "Yeah." I said awkwardly. "What are you doing here?"

"You didn't come in for work, i finished early. I decided to do your work for you."

I looked down at the papers. "You're doing all this work?" he nodded. "Might as well, you have enough on your plate."

"Thanks."

He gestures to the empty seat beside him. "Do you want to join me?" I hesitate. "S-sure." there's a pounding in my chest. I'm nervous. I shouldn't be, but after last night i've lost the will to fight. He doesn't move closer, he gives me the space that he knows i need.

We work in silence and finish in two hours. "Did cisco say when he'd be back?" barry shakes his head. "He's helping caitlyn with her powers, they might be there all night."

I chew on the bottom of my lip. "Then i guess i should go." I stand to leave, but barry stops me. "Do you need a ride? I could take you." I smile and shake my head. "No, I'm fine cisco's letting me borrow his car."

His shoulders drop. "Oh, ok." I go get cisco's keys and head for the door. Barry's still standing in the same spot. He waves to me. I put my hand on the knob, but before i leave i call over to him.

"Yes?"

I let out a breath. "Forget about last night." I walk out of the apartment, my shoulders sagging. I got into cisco's car and drove home.


	5. Chapter 5

Barry's POV

I stood staring at the door after julian's figure. I've really messed up. I tousled my hair and sighed. "Barry Allen, you fucking idiot." I flopped back onto the couch and groaned.

Why couldn't Julian understand that i'm serious about fixing our relationship? Why can't he see that i'm trying.

Not only do i need him to trust me, i want him to trust me. I realized that i'm a mess without him. And i've only known him for a few weeks.

I hear the jingling of keys and for a minute i hope that it's julian. But no, it;s cisco with hartley. "Hey." he says. He points to the stack of papers. "That work?"

I nod. "Hey, why didn't you tell me julian was here?"

He freezes. "Maybe because he needed the space from you."

"I know he needs space, but I want to try to fix our relationship." cisco pulled hartley into his lap as he sat on the couch. "Listen bar, i've known julian for a long time. Right now he's scared. He wants to get close to you, but he's too scared that you won't love him, the you did before."

I look down at my 's right. This is hard on Julian. But i still can't give up.

Julian POV

I didn't go home. I don't know why. I just couldn't be in that place. I couldn't sleep in that bed. I couldn't be there.

Not matter how many times he tries to get close to me it won't work. It can't work. I won't be subjected to that type of pain again. I drive to the precinct. Barry's not there as usual.

I pull out my bag and lay it on the desk. There's a new stack of papers beside me. I half them up and lay the other half on barry desk.

I'm about to pull back my hand when something on his desk catches my eye. It the picture I gave barry for our third anniversary. We're hugging, his arms around my neck and he's kissing my cheek.

I want to look away. I want to pretend that it didn't happen. But i can't it's too real.

"Hey." I look up. Barry's standing there at the door

I don't say anything. I just sit and stare at him. He takes a step forward. "What are you doing?" he asks. I look back down to the picture. "I was leaving you, your half of the work, and then I saw this." I gestured.

He looks at the frame and almost smiles. "Can we please talk?"

I swallow and let go of my pride. "Sure."

He sits in the chair next to my desk and i join him. "I know you need space. And I respect that, but i need to talk to you. I need to get this off my chest."

I gesture for him to continue. "I know that i've ruined your life. I know that i fuck up everything for you. But i'm really, truly sorry." I can hear the sincerity in his voice. His eyes are moist and he looks like he's about to cry. Maybe i've been too hard on him.

"Barry." I say. He looks up at me. I sigh and hesitantly grab his hand. "I'm not mad, anymore. Yes, you fucked up a lot of people's lives. And yes, you did ruin my life. But i can't hold you to that."

"You should."

I shake my head. "I can't hold a grudge against you barry. And if you want, we can start over."

His head snaps pup. "Start over? You mean."

"I'm not saying that we should date, i'm saying that we should at least try to fix some of our relationship."

He smiles. "I do,want to try."

I smiled. "Me to."


	6. Chapter 6

I realized that i couldn't keep him away from me. I couldn't stop the way i feel about him and i don't want to force myself to hold back. If he wanted me he could have me.

I cleared my throat as i let go of his hand. "Well, we should get back to work."

He gets up from the chair. "Yeah, you're right."

His phone chimes as he takes a step. "Crap." he turns to me. "Got to go?" i ask. He nods. "I'm sorry." I waved him off. "It's fine. Go."

He smiles before speeding off. I smile after he leaves. There's a fluttering in my heart.

I remember when we first met. I hated him and he hated me. But after a while i found he was a really good person. He was special to me.

This barry allen, was so much like mine. He was stupid, smart and just exceptional. I loved him. I loved him alot. He may have a lot more secrets,but i know that he's honest with me.

By the time he's come back, i've finished my reports and half of his. " hey." I say. He smiles. "Hey." he leans on the desk. "So cisco, caitlin and i are having movie night tonight, want to join us?"

"I'd like that." I say.

We leave the precinct and i drive to cisco's apartment. Caitlyn and cisco are already there, cisco's boyfriend is also there. "Hey Julian!" he says.

I wave and sit on the floor next to barry. "So what are we watching?"

"Harry Potter." Cisco says in excitement. Caitlyn and hartley groan. "For the fifth time." caitlyn says annoyed.

I stifle a laugh and smile at barry. He puts the movie in the DVD player and presses play. Halfway into the movie i find myself laying on barry's shoulder and his arm in around me. I suddenly feel uncomfortable.

Barry notices my shift and slowly removes his arm. "Sorry." he whispers. "It's ok." I whisper. We continue to watch the movie and slowly we in up in the position again, but this time I'm on his lap.

The movie ends around eight. Cisco turns to me and smiles. He gives me a thumbs up. I blush and hide my face with my hand. "So, i guess we'll see you tomorrow?" caitlyn asks. I look at barry. "Uh, i guess."

"You should, I want you to."

I smile. "Ok." caitlyn leaves and it's just me, barry, cisco and his boyfriend. "So me and hart are gonna go to sleep. See you in the morning." barry and I waved and said good night.

I turned to barry and smiled. "So, I guess i should go."

"You don't have to, you could stay." I look at my feet. "No, I really should go." He nods.

Barry walks me to the door. "I'll see you tomorrow." I nod.

I take a step forward and place a kiss on his cheek. "Bye barry."


	7. Chapter 7

I kissed barry allen. Oh god, what the hell did i do? Maybe i was too forward. What is he gonna say?

I shake the thought away from my mind and get ready for work. Again barry is early for work. "Hey." he says. I smile. "Hi." I Clear my throat. "I hope i wasn't too forward the other night."

He shakes his head. "No, not at all. Actually i wanted you to do that."

"Really?"

He nods. "Yeah, I know that we agreed to go slow, but are you ok with us moving a little faster?"

"Like hand holding and kissing?"

"Yeah."

I smile. "Yeah, I' fine with that."

He takes my hand and squeezes it. "If i do anything you're not comfortable with, just tell me."

I nod. "I will."

He moves away from me and we start working. Barry's phone rings and i look over at him. He looks distress. "I'm on my way." he says.

He get up and starts walking to the door. As he passes by my desk he kisses my cheek. "I'll be back."

I nod and he leaves the room. I sigh and stare at the empty spot where barry stood. I'm falling for him. And i'm falling hard.

When he comes back, I'm waiting for him, sitting on my desk. The sun has gone down and it's almost nine. "Hey." i say.

He looks at me confused. "I thought you would've gone home."

I shake my head. "I was waiting for you."

"How did you know, i would come here?"

"He always came back, i thought you'd be the same." Isay refering to the barry from my timeline. He takes some steps towards me. He leans forward and put his hands on either side of my desk. "I guess I just feel at home here."

I smile. "Home is where the heart is."

Our faces are inches away. I can feel his breath on neck. "Julian." he whispers. "Yes?" I say just as quite. "Can i kiss you." I swallow and nod. He presses his hands against my waist. Our lips press together in a sweet kiss. His lips are soft and taste like honey. He smells like a summer day.

I put my hands on his shoulders and lean into the kiss. His hands move up from his waist to my face. He cups my cheeks and it makes me shiver.

There's a rough 'ahem' in the background that makes us part. Barry looks over his shoulder and takes a step away from me. "Hi, joe." he says.

Decitive West is standing by the door, he looks shocked and a little mad. "Barry can I talk to you?" gestures for barry to follow him.

Barry looks back to me. He mouths the words 'i'll be back.' and walks out with detective West.


	8. Chapter 8

I can hear Detective West yelling at his adoptive son. "Why didn't you tell me you were gay?!"

Barry doesn't answer. He doesn't know how to answer. The tone of his voice reminds me of when my dad found out i was gay.

Barry comes back in with his hands in his pockets. "You ok?" I ask. He shrugs. "I don't know. He's never been this mad."

"I'm sorry." I reach out for his hand and i notice that they're shaking. "I know what it feels like."

He laces his fingers through mine. "Why don't we get out of here?"

"Sure. where do you want to go?"

"What about your apartment?"

I blush. "Um, barry i don't know if that's a good idea."

He catches onto my meaning. "OH, i didn't mean that. I meant it would be better if we had some privacy and not crowded in on cisco."

I nod. "Ok, well are you ok with speeding?" he nodded. "Sure." he scooped me of my feet and and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Why didn't i know you were this strong?" he shrugs. "Never asked." he smiles and the next thing i know is, that we're speeding down the street and were at my apartment. I unlock the door and let me and barry in.

I take his hand and pull him into my room. We crash onto my bed and I'm sitting on top of him. Barry lays his hands on my waist. "You're beautiful."

I love you. I want to say. Instead i smile and lean down to kiss him. He runs his fingers through my hair. I pull away and he groans. "Babe." he says. I blush. "God, allen." I say. He kisses my forehead. "Julian, you…" he trails off. "What?"

"You're just amazing." he drags his finger up my side and I shiver. "Barry." I whisper. He moves closer to my face. "What is it?"

"You." I pause, to look into his blue-green eyes. "Everything about you, i love. You make me crazy and I-I just can't tell you how much i love you." he smiles and caresses my face with his thumb. "I love you Barry Allen."

He kisses my lips softly. "I love you to Julian Albert."

We didn't have sex. Neither barry, nor I are ready for that yet. He's arms are around my waist. We're facing each other. He kisses my nose. "Stop it." I say playfully. He laughs. "you 're so cute."

I shake my head and hide my face. "No, i'm not." barry caresses my face and tilts my chin. "Yes you are, don't deny it."

I look down at my hands. "Barry, can we talk for a minute?" he nods. I sit up in the bed. "What are you going to do about joe?" His eyes drop to the ground. "I don't know." he says. "He's never yelled at me like this before. I didn't think he'd be that mad about my sexuality."

"Be honest with me, you were never planning to tell him about you being gay, were you?" he stays silent for a minute. "Barry."

"No, I wasn't."

"In the other timeline, were you gay?" he shakes his head. "No, i was straight."

"You know you don't have to pretend to be gay for me barry."

"I know. And i'm not pretending. I really do like you, i'm just a little confused." I nod. "If you ever want to end this, i'd be ok with that."

Barry looks at me. "Julian, i'd never want to end this relationship with you. I'm happy with you. And i don't want anyone else, not now, not ever."

I smile. "You know, in any timeline even if we weren't together I'd always find you."

"I'd travel through the multiverse just to find you." he whispers. I kiss him, savouring the taste of his lips. "Sleep. You'll need it." he tightens his grip around me and closes his eyes. I kiss his forehead and drift off to sleep.

Barry's staring at me when i awake. "What?" i ask. He shakes his head. "Nothing. You just look so beautiful."

"I have bed hair and morning breath. How can i be beautiful?" he cups my face and kisses my lips. "I think that you're always beautiful."

I groan. "Let me brush my teeth first." he pouts, but lets me get up. I quickly get ready and make break breakfast for us. Barry comes out of my room, as i am putting his plate on the table. "Hey babe."

I lean into him. "Hey." i say. He sits and pulls me into his lap. "This is so weird." I say. "I know." barry says. "But it's good right?" I nod. "I really really like you, barry."

"I really really like you to. " he hugs me and we finish our breakfast. I hop off of his lap. "So, we don't have work today, the chances of a metahuman attack are high as usual so what do you want to do?"

Barry bites his lip. "I think i need to talk to joe."

"Do you want me to be there?" I ask. "Would you?" i nodded. "I'll drive."

We arrive at the west' opens the door with a smile. "Hey." she smiled. "Hey is joe home?" iris nodded. "Yeah, he was really mad yesterday, what happened?" barry sighed. "He caught me and julian kissing."

Iris mad an 'o' shape with her mouth. "I'm sorry." she lets us in and goes get her father. Detective West joins us in the living room, with his arms crossed. "I don't want you two here."

"Joe." barry says. Joes takes a step back. "No barry, i raised you. And i did my best trying to make sure you grew up well. And now you're gay. I can't accept that."

"So you can accept me being a metahuman, but not gay?"

"No, i can't."

"why?"

"because it's not normal, barry."

"I've never been normal." Barry says silently.

Detective West doesn't respond.

I could see barry's eyes starting to water. I put my hand on his shoulder. "Maybe we should go." I say. Barry turns to me. "Yeah, we should." I take his hand and pull him out of the house. "I'm so sorry." I say when we get into the car.

He wipes his tears and looks out the window. "Don't be sorry." he says. He takes my hand. "I love you julian. And if joe can't accept that then i don't care."

"Barry."

"No, julian. He can't tell me that what i feel for you is wrong, because i know it's not." i smile. "Do you really love me that much?"

He nods. "I love you so much julian." I cup his face. "Barry allen, you are amazing." i wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him softly. "I promise that everything will be ok."

He nodded.

We drove back to my apartment and sat on my couch. "Can i do anything to make you feel better?"

He pushes the hair out of my face. "Just being with you is enough." he hugged me. "I love you." I closed my eyes and squeezed him. "I love you to."

"Barry. Can i ask you something?" he nods. I sigh and choose my words carefully. "Have you thought about sex?"

He backs away from me. "Julian. Don't you think that's a little fast."

"Not now. I mean in the future, when we're ready."

He smiles. "Of course I have. I just never thought that i'd have sex with a man."

"Well what do you think?"

he sighs. "I think that it will be difficult, but as longs as it's with you then it will still be amazing."

I smile and he puts his arms around me again; i let him run his hands through my hair. I'm really falling for barry.


End file.
